shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
