He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize