True but thats because hes a fetus.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
