She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's never too late to be topless.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Randomize
