She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
