this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
