Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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