halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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