No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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