I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
