I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she smelled like a LAN party
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
