He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
