In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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