halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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