everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize