this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
