the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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