Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
only you would photoshop your dick
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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