why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
This show inspires me to have sex in space
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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