Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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