my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
