Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
