using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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