She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
