I am in a vortex of obligation.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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