: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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