I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
