'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
