You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
