Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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