You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
