There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
