well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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