I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
