Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
