We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
