God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
