Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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