Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
