Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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