SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize