Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
