That's intense
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
bring money and cleavage
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
