Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
