i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
