Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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