I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
