You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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