dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
