i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
