i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
