My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
