I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
