this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
