Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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